an excerpt from another life

the david foster wallace quote dreading in my ear, they shoot the terrible master. i know he is too smart for his own good, i am so fearful , i can’t even stand on my own knees. i hear aweird echoey sound in my ears. a waiting creeping echo that makes me want to cry. the wail of a car’s brakes, sliding in through the windowsill. i think i will vomit. he is always so ominous. “i don’t know what to do, babe.” i am so so so tempted. to see what is wrong. i am standing at the bedside like a fool. waiting. was there caffeine in the coffee i wonder? or am i just high? i wonder. i worry.

© Alexandra Jema 

près de la catastrophe

The universe doesn’t make mistakes—

With slow movements every day I realize I have
lived life before.
and the reason
I am so anxious
is because I don’t like waiting for what comes next.

I have been so happy, my heart sings.

Why can I not be that happy again?

 

                    Why is my sadness a cavernous wound?

 

We will all play it out, anyway,
puppets on strings
more curious about curtains than anything.

 

 

 

© Alexandra Jema